


Shooting the shit, like always.

by commander_hot_pants



Series: Allison Shepard [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Drabble, F/M, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 18:12:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6205477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commander_hot_pants/pseuds/commander_hot_pants
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You'd think with a Spectre on board, we'd get special clearance. But, you know, not like we're saving the galaxy or anything important..." </p><p>Joker patiently waits for relay clearance and shoots the shit with the Commander he'd be happy to follow anywhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shooting the shit, like always.

__Even Joker had to sleep.

And, as much as he might prefer it, the Normandy SR2's pilot chair was not an appropriate place to catch a few winks. Even with the ship itself as his co- pilot, Jeff just didn't feel right leaving the helm outside of dock. He pinched his nose, _lightly_ , thumb still recovering from its altercation with the mute button. Blinking away the traces of exhaustion he took a deep breath, and tried to get less comfortable before Hypnos whisked him to a place of rest.

_"Mr.Moreau, you've been on duty for over 18 hours. It is best for all personnel-"_

"I know, mom." He moaned, "I'll go to bed as soon as we clear the relay. Just, chill out."

_"Personnel regulations regarding-"_

"EDI," Joker's hand twitched towards the panel, but the throb of his thumb stopped him from slamming down, "Just. Give it a rest. Go occupy yourself somewhere else for a while."

_"I am more than capable of preforming multiple tasks at once, Mr.Moreau."_

Before Joker could react with a snide remark a voice came from behind him, "Dont make me separate you two." He glanced over his shoulder to see Shepard standing on the precipice of his cock pit with a mug clutched in each fist, "Because I'm not even sure it's possible. Let's all play nice, at least until I'm off the bridge?"

"Sorry, Commander." Joker sighed, accepting a mug as it was offered. He took a sip and let out an exaggerated moan, "Is that _real_ coffee?"

"Honest to god crushed beans and boiled water." Shepard wrapped one arm around herself, enjoying a sip of her own, "Civilian comfort at its finest." Joker indulged another large gulp.

"Actual sugar too?" Shepard wiggled her eye brows at him in an arrogant fashion.

"Thats a gift from me. Heard you've been pulling long shifts." She nodded out towards the planet they were orbiting, "Any luck?"

"Still waiting to access the relay, back up is crazy." Joker said turning back to his static control panel, "You'd think with a Spectre on board, we'd get special clearance. But, you know, not like we're saving the galaxy or anything important."

"Former Spectre." Shepard corrected, sipping her coffee.

"Yeah, well that only matters until they decide you're convenient again." Joker checked for waiting incoming messages, but found none, "Then it'll be all 'Come save our asses again! No, we won't help you when you need it. We're too busy getting in more danger.' Classic Council moves."

"Well, heres to being inconvenient then." Shepard leaned forward over the dash to peer out the view window, "I'd rather be stuck in an occasional line, than at the end of the Councils leash." Her eyes narrowed, "I'm no ones lap dog." Joker nodded and took another well deserve sip of his coffee.

"What'd Anderson want?" He asked after a minute of silence. Shepard tilted her head questioningly at him, "I saw the Alliance address ping when he messaged."

Shepard stiffened, "Actually," She began hesitantly, "It was Kaidan."

"Ahh, speaking of leashed dogs…" Joker muttered, wincing at the sharp glance Shepard threw over her shoulder. He still hadn’t quite adjusted to the glowing red in her eyes, which seemed to grow more intense every day, "What'd he have to say? Don’t suppose he was apologizing for being a tool on Horizon." She looked back over the planet, lost for a moment in thought.

"In his mind I think he was," She said, "but he also told me about his doctor girlfriend on the Citadel."

"Oh super! That’s great, what a cool guy." Joker rolled his eyes, "You just say the word Shepard, and I'll beat the guy up." Shepard snorted out a laugh and straightened up, "I mean it! I'll just go crazy, man. Just wreck the guy."

_"Commander Alenko is a highly trained operative, Mr.Moreau. I would not suggest-"_

"EDI." Both of them yelled at the same time, shutting the AI up for a moment.

She clapped one hand onto his shoulder gently, "I'll let you know if I need you to release the hounds on him."

" _Or_ we could always pretend to be totally in love, you know, make out in front of him to make him jealous." Joker said, grinning his brightest smile at her.

"I think I'd rather see you try to fight him." Shepard replied with a chuckle.

"Yeah your right, I'd probably get _less_ broken bones that away." This made Shepard laugh even harder, covering her mouth with one hand and Joker gladly joined, enjoying a rare moment of effortless mirth. After a few seconds their laughter quieted and they sat in the comfortable silence that came with years of friendship.

"I would have liked it if he had come with us." Shepard said, "Kaidan, I mean, it would have been nice for him to join us… I would have liked to have him on board."

"Yeah, I miss his lack of humor, and made up holidays."

"Canada day is a real holiday," Shepard replied, "to some people."

"Whatever." Joker shrugged, a second of silence later he added, "We got Garrus back though, and he basically fulfills both those roles for me."

"Yeah, we have Garrus…" She murmured, and Joker caught the small smile that pulled at her lips, "Its uh, it's good to have him back." He saw an indescribable spark behind her eyes and for once chose not to tease her on it.

 _"Incoming message from the Omega 2 relay,"_ EDI chimed, _"We are clear to proceed."_

"Oh awesome," Joker leaned forward, gently guiding the ship through the process, "just in time to waste this great coffee."

"You get us to the Citadel and there will be more." Shepard assured him.

"Oh yeah? I hope the next one comes with a pasty," Joker said, "Like a raspberry biscotti or something." Shepard chuckled under her breath and pat him again on the shoulder.

"Pastries are for pilots that get us through relays in under four hours."

 


End file.
